Let’s just go ahead and address the elephant in the room: yes, this is the week the latest installment of Twilight, this time Breaking Dawn: Part 1, erupts onto the big screen. I feel I would be letting down our core demographic by not mentioning it at all. Except, perhaps, that’s exactly what our core demographic would do: not mention it.
There is a level of shame associated with adult fans of the franchise in the States that I had not previously realized. Because I’ll admit it—I’ve seen all the Twilight films. I’ve even seen them in multiple languages.
I first discovered Twilight while living in Ukraine. My students were primarily teenage girls. Teenage girls (and lonely Peace Corps volunteers) are genetically predetermined to be fans of the series regardless of culture, geography, or other socioeconomic factors. One of the best English club lessons I ever had was a debate over Team Edward or Team Jacob; the girls were racing through their English dictionaries to look up new words.
But here in America, things are different. If I started seriously using words like Robsten, K.Stew, R-Pattz, Krisbians, people would rightfully start to heckle me. (I still blame “Bennifer” for all of this. Ben Affleck, you knew not what you did.).
After giving it some thought, here are the top 5 reasons it’s awkward to be a 25 year-old Twilight fan:
- Google told you Taylor Lautner was born in 1992. But by then it was too late.
- You secretly love Kristen Stewart. But being a Kristen Stewart fan is kind of like dating the guy none of your friends thinks is good enough for you. You take the guy out in public, and it never quite works out. “I swear he’s so different when we are alone together.”
- At 25 you can’t go to the midnight show on Thursday night. You’d be too tired for work the next morning.
- At 25 you would look like a creeper at the midnight show, anyways.
- A genuinely excited Twilight Facebook status will get you heavily mocked. Author’s Note: ironic statuses however, much like during Shark Week, are seemingly encouraged.
Readers what do you think? Is there an adult shame circle surrounding Twilight? Sound off below.
- A Going to the Saturday Matinee Because I’m Old Now, Lindsay